I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i dont even know how to be here
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
