i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
