All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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