S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
