Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
