Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
