I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
