I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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