I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize