I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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