No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
