Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
