What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
