no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
