Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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