Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
