Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
