I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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