that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
