he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
