I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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