nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
