I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
