There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
