ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
