i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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