I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
