4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize