my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
