so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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