Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
