I bet he comes in French.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
