i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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