I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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