So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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