i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
