I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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