Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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