but the lizard people decide everything anyway
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
