im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
try to milk me bitch
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