I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize