have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
