i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
My dick has a subreddit
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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