yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
