I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
