he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize