I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
