Is it because I queefed?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
