Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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