At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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