Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
