I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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