i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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