I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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