Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
