I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize