Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
