im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
