let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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