Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
