I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
